The Rainmaker

I find such an empathy in what Ruby said in the movie The Rainmaker that I cannot bear just letting those words slip away, so at any rate I should quote them in my blog so that as long as I look back here, I will always recall something that is priceless.

After winning the case against a notorious insurance company which created a sensation yet brought him almost nothing material, Ruby said: "Every lawyer, at least once in every case, feels himself crossing a line he doesn't really mean to cross. It just happens. And if you cross it enough times, it disappears forever. And then you're nothing but another lawyer joke, just another shark in the dirty water."

I always want a job which is of a free atmosphere, and I thought being a lawyer would be one like that. But the more I come to know the realistic practice behind that glory curtain of the profession, the more complicated and inexplicable my sentiment goes. I come to realize that not a single one job might be free from tampering, which I think, may result from the deep-rooted inclination of a human being, that he is in all event prone to insatiability, while temptation and interests always go along well with power; much the way as Brad Pitt claimed in Fight Club: the less responsibility, the better. When one's accumulated power is mounting, he should be more responsible as to the ethics of his profession or simply to himself, yet it is often the other way around, that he begins to abuse it, to milk his career to get him an uninhibited flow of profits. Or he just has an insatiable craze for flirting with fame and prestige, he cannot tolerate a life without others' admiration and envy.

I know that righteous values can hardly co-exist with worldly success of an individual in his material life. Things go like this in a nation where the legal system is nearly perfectly laid-out such as the U.S., needless to say in one like our country where the rule of law is mentioned thousands and thousands times, and still seems far from sight. I heard of most law students I've known that choosing the profession only because it is hot and lucrative. Well, I' m not so hypocritic as to not admit I' m not the exception. I want plenty of money, I can tell that nearly spontaneously. Without doubt, the poor are miserable. In substance, we all are miserable in that all are unable to escape from struggling to fend for ourselves, to keep our life continued. Economic means are indispensable if you're trying to live, let along to make a history. Well, what I really want to stress, however, is not the indisputable fact but how we could use our intelligence as to keep our life a natural balance and harmony.

I believe if you have the right talent and powerful knowledge, you deserve the money that comes along. It is not merely a dignity, but also fairness. The society is in order because everyone can find his place, discover what his potential can achieve, and know that his potential is not meaningless. Sometimes, people would tell me not to be too hard on myself, especially for a girl. I'm not going to submit myself to this stereotype, not because I am eager to mold myself into a powerful super-woman who elicits myriad envy from the lower rank. I'm not in the least attracted to games of pecking order. But I do admire those who can use their money and the influence thereof to make a contribution to the society, say, Bill Gates, Carnegie, Rockefeller, and the rest who donate a significant proportion of their wealth or even all of the wealth they have created during their life to build a better community, to set up hospitals, schools, charity foundations...They are all acknowledged geniuses; all employ their talent and knowledge to become build masters; all make a difference in this amazing world; all channel the positive images to other members of our earth. I think they know from the heart that human beings' sensor organs are so limited in power that what they can sense is too superficial to reach a point and then go further and further. The material comfort could be of no extreme, yet when it is received by us, it becomes quite shallow and limited, at least to human beings' knowledge.

So what is exactly the thing of first-rate importance? The belief. And the values naturally flown from our heart thereof. I believe in the end when one has to leave this earthly world, what can make her smile and sleep forever is gratification of what she has obtained through values and efforts. Perhaps it is painful to fight for justice and happiness, no matter for others or for merely ourselves, perhaps the evil power is assailing unscrupulously and relentlessly, perhaps you have been hurt all the way through and almost want to give in. But what finally renders more content: persistence all along or back-off half-way? Material comfort cannot be taken to the grave, but the spiritual outlook you have left could be engraved on the tomb, upon the mind of those who has been touched and influenced and encouraged. When you are descending into the dark grave, you only need turn to the landscape you have helped to build to feel the bath of lights that make you feel as if you' ve already been revived, you' ve already been granted another beautiful life.

I don't know what would become of me in a few years later when I graduate from a good law school. But I'm sure I would start from being a lawyer. I'm not certain what would happen in the course of being a lawyer. Maybe I retain high ideal and prepare to fight bravely at any time, and setbacks only stimulate my aspiration; or I may feel weary with the lapse of time, settling myself for being a wealthy professional, a manicured vulture when catch sight of rolling cash, a sheer silent mediocre when my interests might lessen under the call of righteousness.

But I know if it has to be the latter, I'm done. All my potential I was once so clearly aware of would dissipate, melt, so familiar yet so strange. I would be such a damn vanity.