达则兼济天下，穷则独善其身

在豆瓣9点上看到的“程益中答南方人物周刊”转文，很是喜欢，这里摘抄部分程益中说的话。

“无论大事小事，凡事都想做到完美极致，我的成就感通常都是这样建立的。在目前形势下，服务平台的大小，可能影响我对社会的贡献，但不太影响我的成就感。我 觉得现在不去利用媒体建设性地编织谎言和创造性地愚弄大众就已经功德无量了，所以我觉得自己现在很侥幸，不在媒体权力中心而在边缘，不必再备受煎熬苦苦抗 争。这对我个人来说又未尝不是一件幸事，并且我现在也没有把自己看的那么重要，感觉为自己为家人活着也是件很高尚很有意义的事情。”

“绚烂至极归于平淡，既不背失败的包袱也不背成功的包袱，任何时候都知道自己是谁，都有一颗返璞归真的心。”

“我理想的下一站？干嘛老问我这个问题，我也不知道，我觉得还是随缘吧，我从来都没有规划过自己的未来，也扼不住命运的咽喉。人生不确定性和戏剧性太多了， 每个人的一生其实都是一部没有剧本的电影，一边生活一边播出，由不得你规划不规划；又好比一张不规则的大网，这张网的起点是生，终点是死，而从起点到终 点，有无数路径，每到拐点便是歧路，我们就兜兜转转忙忙碌碌去吧；但起点和终点不变。人生就是由一个又一个偶然性组成的，而偶然性的总和便是必然性；所以 偶然性中包含着必然性，必然性中包含着偶然性。我的下一站，还是由偶然性决定吧。”

“我最鄙夷的生活是需要出卖灵魂的生活。比如说不认同某种价值观而又必须依赖这种价值观生活；比如说为了生活去背叛人类常识和普世价值，与自己的良心 搏斗，或者为了生活干脆抛弃良心；明明知道某句话是谎言，但为了生活却偏偏说这是真理。最不能忍受的是，这样做只是为了生活得更成功，不这样做他也有日子 过。

比较幸运的是，我现在能自主选择不屈辱的生活方式，尽管代价很大，但我觉得很值。”

“达则兼济天下，穷且独善其身。从这个意义上讲，我跟古往今来的中国传统读书人一样，骨子里有很强的家国意识，有很强的为民请命意识。而我从事的职业，刚好有这样的机会和可能。在民主国家，这些意识其实不重要，但在中国就弥足珍贵。”

“我希望50岁时，自己更宽容，更自由，不需要拍案而起，不需要愤怒，能生活在人权民主和法制得到真正落实的社会，能看到官员廉洁奉公、环境日益改善、社会 公平正义、人民安居乐业。至于自己能干多大的事业、能有多大的成就，真的一点都不重要。我愿意做一个好制度下幸福的平民，绝对不愿意做一个坏制度下悲苦的 英雄。”

“中国最大的糟粕，就是所谓的做人学问，中国人缺乏的是率真和纯粹。”

“无论鲜花掌声还是明枪暗箭，无论得意还是失意，我都知道我是谁，从哪里来，到哪里去，我不会在成功中迷失自己，也同样不会在挫折中迷失自己。”

“我的孤独也在凯旋归来时。我常常会在高堂华座，觥筹交错，熠熠生辉场合，一个人从后门出去，在如华的月光之下悲从中来。这是我最大的落寞和孤独。”

“虽然命运和地位没有改变，但是待遇和俸禄可以改变。我现在看到的情况是，大部分所谓的知识分子，已经彻底废了谋生能力，也乐得被豢养和包养；极少数有良心、有情怀、有道义的知识分子，通常情况下都活得并不容易，观念上磕磕碰碰，生活上踉踉跄跄。

我不知道您把我划为哪一部分？大多数，还是极少数？做大多数，我不愿意；做极少数，我不够格。所以还是不要把我划在什么序列中。我对自己现在的要求是，以知识和专长自谋职业，不失良心、情怀和道义，自食其力。”

The Rainmaker

I find such an empathy in what Ruby said in the movie The Rainmaker that I cannot bear just letting those words slip away, so at any rate I should quote them in my blog so that as long as I look back here, I will always recall something that is priceless.

After winning the case against a notorious insurance company which created a sensation yet brought him almost nothing material, Ruby said: "Every lawyer, at least once in every case, feels himself crossing a line he doesn't really mean to cross. It just happens. And if you cross it enough times, it disappears forever. And then you're nothing but another lawyer joke, just another shark in the dirty water."

I always want a job which is of a free atmosphere, and I thought being a lawyer would be one like that. But the more I come to know the realistic practice behind that glory curtain of the profession, the more complicated and inexplicable my sentiment goes. I come to realize that not a single one job might be free from tampering, which I think, may result from the deep-rooted inclination of a human being, that he is in all event prone to insatiability, while temptation and interests always go along well with power; much the way as Brad Pitt claimed in Fight Club: the less responsibility, the better. When one's accumulated power is mounting, he should be more responsible as to the ethics of his profession or simply to himself, yet it is often the other way around, that he begins to abuse it, to milk his career to get him an uninhibited flow of profits. Or he just has an insatiable craze for flirting with fame and prestige, he cannot tolerate a life without others' admiration and envy.

I know that righteous values can hardly co-exist with worldly success of an individual in his material life. Things go like this in a nation where the legal system is nearly perfectly laid-out such as the U.S., needless to say in one like our country where the rule of law is mentioned thousands and thousands times, and still seems far from sight. I heard of most law students I've known that choosing the profession only because it is hot and lucrative. Well, I' m not so hypocritic as to not admit I' m not the exception. I want plenty of money, I can tell that nearly spontaneously. Without doubt, the poor are miserable. In substance, we all are miserable in that all are unable to escape from struggling to fend for ourselves, to keep our life continued. Economic means are indispensable if you're trying to live, let along to make a history. Well, what I really want to stress, however, is not the indisputable fact but how we could use our intelligence as to keep our life a natural balance and harmony.

I believe if you have the right talent and powerful knowledge, you deserve the money that comes along. It is not merely a dignity, but also fairness. The society is in order because everyone can find his place, discover what his potential can achieve, and know that his potential is not meaningless. Sometimes, people would tell me not to be too hard on myself, especially for a girl. I'm not going to submit myself to this stereotype, not because I am eager to mold myself into a powerful super-woman who elicits myriad envy from the lower rank. I'm not in the least attracted to games of pecking order. But I do admire those who can use their money and the influence thereof to make a contribution to the society, say, Bill Gates, Carnegie, Rockefeller, and the rest who donate a significant proportion of their wealth or even all of the wealth they have created during their life to build a better community, to set up hospitals, schools, charity foundations...They are all acknowledged geniuses; all employ their talent and knowledge to become build masters; all make a difference in this amazing world; all channel the positive images to other members of our earth. I think they know from the heart that human beings' sensor organs are so limited in power that what they can sense is too superficial to reach a point and then go further and further. The material comfort could be of no extreme, yet when it is received by us, it becomes quite shallow and limited, at least to human beings' knowledge.

So what is exactly the thing of first-rate importance? The belief. And the values naturally flown from our heart thereof. I believe in the end when one has to leave this earthly world, what can make her smile and sleep forever is gratification of what she has obtained through values and efforts. Perhaps it is painful to fight for justice and happiness, no matter for others or for merely ourselves, perhaps the evil power is assailing unscrupulously and relentlessly, perhaps you have been hurt all the way through and almost want to give in. But what finally renders more content: persistence all along or back-off half-way? Material comfort cannot be taken to the grave, but the spiritual outlook you have left could be engraved on the tomb, upon the mind of those who has been touched and influenced and encouraged. When you are descending into the dark grave, you only need turn to the landscape you have helped to build to feel the bath of lights that make you feel as if you' ve already been revived, you' ve already been granted another beautiful life.

I don't know what would become of me in a few years later when I graduate from a good law school. But I'm sure I would start from being a lawyer. I'm not certain what would happen in the course of being a lawyer. Maybe I retain high ideal and prepare to fight bravely at any time, and setbacks only stimulate my aspiration; or I may feel weary with the lapse of time, settling myself for being a wealthy professional, a manicured vulture when catch sight of rolling cash, a sheer silent mediocre when my interests might lessen under the call of righteousness.

But I know if it has to be the latter, I'm done. All my potential I was once so clearly aware of would dissipate, melt, so familiar yet so strange. I would be such a damn vanity.

Some Doubt Behind The Olympic Torch Relay: Pictures Can Talk

mad snatchera cut picture

the entire one

Why did the man who attempted to snatch the Torch from Jin Jin walk so "harmoniously" among others who was carrying five-star red flags?

What really happened that day?

Is it really the case as what we think at a superficial glance? Or is this in fact a mere well-designed play put up under certain mean scheme that is unspeakable to us patriotic Chinese in the home country?

Without doubt, this man had been manipulated on that day, yet which side is in the back-room is too soon to make positive. Some cloud still wraps the scene, leaving a doubt of pivotal importance.

从照片另眼看 旧金山 圣火巡游

最后一张照片最令人感慨，同样的一面五星红旗，无言的画面永远比激情的喧嚣有说服力。再次证明自由并不等于独立。
我昨天听BBC广播采访北京人对ZD分子和抵制奥运的看法，有个北京 人说：“这正证明了中华民族自古以来都是受欺负的。”今天我看网络视频，在旧金山集会的所谓反华政客在烛光前从容地说：“我们这样做并不是在反对 中国的人民。”刚刚看完一部很写实的BBC2008年3月播出的纪录片A Year In Tibet，在藏人们都万分虔诚地接受完中国政府指定的达赖喇嘛接班人的祈福后，喇嘛们各自许了三个心愿，其中一个说他许的是：“希望佛教能在世界上源远流长，希望世界和平祥和，希望中华人民共和国越来越富强。”爱 国绝对没错，但爱国青年应当对历史和文化有全面了解才对。在指责别人的同时，首先要冷静下来，看看自己到底有没有把握不让别人反咬一口？这句话适用于西方媒体，同样也适用于我 们。我们不应该固执己见，封闭自守，举凡听到国际社会有反对的声音就觉得那些说我们的清一色都在欺负我们，在歪曲事实，在妖魔化。

托克维尔说过：“民族意志，是任何时期的阴谋家和所有时代的暴君最常盗用的口号之一。”爱国牌“夜壶”也常是这类人排泄的首选。

[ 转贴]从照片另眼看 旧金山 圣火巡游

文章提交者：郑屠夫表兄 加帖在 猫眼看人 【凯迪网络】 http://www.kdnet.net

今天有幸，参加了2008北京奥运在旧金山的圣火传递仪式，但就瞻仰奥运圣火而言，临时的路线改变，与我无缘。不过所见所闻，感想颇多，破例写一次日志。

　　先略说经过。今天上学，轻装上阵--到期的作业、圆珠笔、夹着国旗的笔记本。11点下课后，买上干粮，和三四十个中国同学直奔地铁，前往旧金山。到达原定火炬起点，看到的是一片红色的海洋，海风中飘扬的的五星红旗很亲切、很熟悉。我们用行动告诉大家，今天的旧金山不是伦敦、不是巴黎，今天的旧金山属于我们华人。西方媒体听到了我们的声音，见识了我们的气势，不敢再以偏概全、断章取义。

　　但是不可否认，旧金山海滨道上也有很多X山狮子旗和anti-china标语。“anti-china”人士各式各样：有反政府、anti-china、反布什、反对一切的美国嬉皮士，当我请他们解释说明他们的anti-china标语时，得到的是无语和一脸的不可一世；有不满我国政府与缅甸、苏丹政府关系的人权义士，出发点可以赞同，但对事实所知不多；当然还有各类的Z 独人士。Z 独人士中属美国人最凶，境外长大的Z人其次，土生土长的xz的移民比较和善。Z 独的存在，不一定具备其正确性或合理性，但必有其存在的原因。本着一种书生科学、理性的态度与好奇心，我和朋友举着五星红旗，走近Z 人队伍，挤入Z人集会，与xz移民交谈，听取对方的故事。

　　手举国旗，听着"Shame on China"的口号，面对一双双狐疑的眼神，在全是Z 独人士的集会中与对方交流不是一件容易的事情，可以说一开始不是很爽。我们年轻人经常听到一丝的批评就横眉一竖、自我辩护，或是一言不发、愤愤离去再伺机报复。但是中国的文化是谦虚地、温和的、大度的，听取不同的意见、批评是自我改进、自我完善所必不可少的，有则改之、无则加勉，和谐由此而来。感谢圣火给了我们这个展示中国文化的机会。不过，对于恶意无理的谩骂、攻击和诋毁到对火炬手的人身攻击，都是不能容忍的，都中国人都要以与坚决、有力的还击。

　　当我们礼貌友好的接近一些xz人时，他们还是很认真、朴实的与我们交谈（就像小时候课本中学到的少数民族一样）。他们大部分在新中国的xz长大，会说汉语，有汉族朋友，也把我们当作同胞，有些也很兴奋得谈到台湾回归、中国统一强大。他们谈到的一些问题与不满，也是在国内生活中大家遇到的。通货膨胀，贫 富差距拉大，地方官员的腐败，大学扩招后找工作的困难。发达地区的国人尚有时为此苦恼，在全球一体化、全国小一体化的今天，贫穷落后Z人更是负担沉重，生活艰难，由此而生的民族情绪也可以理解。另一印象深刻的话题是dl，所有交谈的Z人都对其热爱、崇拜。长大成为无神论者的我们大概无法理解那种对宗教领袖/老师的崇拜。中国在变，也许今天那个受很多Z人与其他外国人崇拜的喇嘛也变了，也许我们应该在1959年那次之后，重新认识一下这个眼中钉。谈到dl，我们不禁发问：你们不知道政教合一的农奴制度么？多数人说知道，但并没有什么印象。也许Z民忘记了历史，但是我们这些没有经过三年自然灾害的年轻人，不也无法体会当年的艰苦么？历史不容忘却，而经历过与没有经历过确实有着本质的区别。这一代Z人看到的是自治区的社会问题和宗教问题。也许我们应该向前看，努力增进与少数民族的友谊，切实提高他们的生活水平。放下历史的包袱，不再指着他们的鼻子、告诉他们曾经是奴隶。

　　这些Z人的话不能全信，也不能全不信。它们至少从一个侧面反映了一个月前打砸抢的经济、宗教等深层次的社会原因，是我们应当认识到的，也是切实解决问题所必要的。

　　我们痛恨的Z 独是一种意识形态，西方人痛恨的共 产主义也是一种意识形态。但是我们应该认识到，这些意识形态，是对一群人、一个民族的片面概括，是一些人挑起敌意、煽动对立的工具。我们应当分清在这场火炬传递中，利用奥运anti-china的、看不惯中国崛起起哄的与真正在社会底层的少数民族，少一些“Z敖”、“牦牛”式的辱骂，多一些理解与交流，真正地像一个国家、一个大家庭里一样解决问题,让我们的祖国更加强大。

　　最后几点观察。与伦敦、巴黎不同，大多数美国人今天持着中立的、没有政治色彩的态度来瞻仰圣火，与protest的双方都有接触，也看到很多华人与Z人间互相交流。或许都是受到这个种族大熔炉国家的文化影响吧。

Free ≠ Independent

Just now when I was browsing the webs, I happened to see some pictures photographed in France and the States which display Tibetans' protest worldwide. Well, instead of using the word "independent" as was embarrassingly exclaimed by foolish Bjork in her Shanghai concert, they simply put "free Tibet" as their slogan. I'm not sure you have what ways of thinking; maybe some just treat them exactly identical in meaning in a sec or two. For my part, I draw two completely different pictures of these in my mind's eye. I see that it is one thing citizens in their own nation could be entitled sufficient freedom to decide for themselves what the center of their life is, what they choose to believe, or what they would do to follow the call of their conscience, and the rest, but that it is quite another to disown a people's roots, to cut off cord from the motherland and declare that "we are born to be different ethnically, and we are separate, so what we do has nothing with you".

Evidently, the former has nothing to do with splitting a country, while the latter targets separateness from a country; the former simply practices the fundamental rights of every decent human being, while the latter provokes conflicts within the sovereign of a country; the former being sticked to should not allow compromise in that it spurs the progress of a nation, while the latter being denied is non-negotiable in that it hampers the full development of a nation.

Let's dig it more deeply. Specifically, Tibet is too impoverished to seek independence from China which backs it up with a large amount of economic resources every year. It's so unwise to irritate an ironclad mother and patron. But what then? It's just as if the patron has done 99 good deeds to the poor, yet does the 100th to kill the poor. If the most cherished values of one's life have been deprived, what's the point of muddling along? Every person that has even the slightest reflection on her life dare not say we're not living on our beliefs, no matter how aberrant or how superstitious they may appear as against others'. To hold one's particular belief as well as to hold a community's traditional belief is to exercise people's freedom to make their life meaningful. The saying of "free Tibet" is not even remotely unduly. We all want to be free, let us say "free school", "free company", "free communist party", "free Candice", whatsoever. It is precisely the same with the issue of Tibet. What Tibetans have done is, in fact, trying to urge our government to authentically exercise its promise on Tibetans' autonomy, far removed from attempting independence.

I'm quite earnest to say that I myself, among many of patriotic youths in China, feel in instinct a loath and aversion towards all splittists. But I believe that before we incarcerated all those stubborn people in the name of separating the country it is necessary first to give anybody a justifiable right to speak for what they really want and stand for, or at least we should not be merely convinced by what some people have said without looking into all channels of information to reach a fair judgment. But, if we are not able to command a relatively comprehensive view of the event ( the doing of which in light of our country's current situation is next to impossible), it's never too irresponsible to jump into that bandwagon of ethnic sentiment now having a trend to contain as much well-educated Chinese civilian as possible. Just like what those open-minded have called upon on the world level, we need a face-to-face communication. Believe me, misunderstanding is the most grinding disaster that could fall upon any civil people.

A straight foot is not afraid of a crooked shoe

I typed this article in my sina blog last night, and when I finished that I felt such a gratification deep down inside my heart. As much as I wanted to express my irresistible feelings, I was naive enough not to realize that I shouldn't have chosen the fucking sina blog to stick this article. To my consolation, Blogspot is not blocked these days so that I could turn to its help to continue the pouring-out of my dissatisfactions towards the administration of China. Last night article goes as follows(a big thank you to douban9dian for enabling me to find my words back):

刚上校内，发现最近网上关于什么西方媒体歪曲诬蔑我国打压西藏的报导都泛滥成灾了，还有什么民间自行建立网站对抗西方反华媒体，华人和留学生都站出来维护祖国利益之类的，大家看来都很爱国的啊。哈，龙应台十几年前的一句“中国人，你为什么不生气”看来是大大落伍了！

我只是在纳闷，平日里国内发生的那些冤假错案，官僚主义泛滥和腐败荼毒，层出不穷的浴血矿难，人民币对外升值对内贬值以致于CPI指数狂飞，等等等等，这 些关系民生与我们基本切身利益的事情都没有引发这么广泛的愤怒。即使有，那跟反日小愤青的愤怒也不可同日而语啊。当然，跟现在大家的爱国热情和义愤填膺相 比就更难以望其项背了，不是么。

我一直都有看原版的Economist,Newsweek,Times之类的杂志,这段时间更是一直收听CNN,BBC,NPR...之类的新闻报道,不 错,关于Tibet的消息多的是漫天纷飞了。可是我完全没看到这些媒体承认 Tibet的独立，他们倒还很尊重我们国家的说法，用的是 自治这个词。我想，我们都不在暴动的事发现场，谁也不知道那天的事情是怎么发生的，外国记者肯定只能根据事后的当事人采访和情景拍摄，即使是片面的一家之 言也很正常。我承认说什么暴动的喇嘛都是中国军人扮的确实很假，但是人家确实是正正当当通过采访得来的消息，国外媒体若这样报导了也只不过是将其采访的资 料列出来展现给大家罢了。新闻媒体的灵魂是客观，但这样并没有违背客观原则，如果报纸说的是“我们认为”那它就不客观了。看看我们国家的报纸，动辄“我们 认为”“我们坚信”，完全是官方语言，如果说西方媒体不经调查就随意列举其采访所得的“事实”是极不负责任的行为，那么我们自己呢？连“事实”都没列出来 就用“我们……”来引导大众舆论，这算什么？前者至少信任读者，它尽其所能把它所能搜集到的“事实”展现给大家，相信大家自有判断力，能去伪存精；后者却 还带着身上残留的“愚民”惯性，觉得读者是SB,自己判断不出孰是孰非，所以要有口号式的大段大段官方评论。

我在想，国内的爱国青年们是从哪里知道西方的媒体究竟是怎么报导zangdu事件的呢？我们国家不是有最强大的网络GFW么？大家跟世界沟通的渠道基本都 被堵了，从何得知人家究竟说了什么？我们所看到的只是国内的报道，秉承我国新闻业一向的党报传统，你咋知道我们所能看到的新闻就是公正客观的了？当然， Tibet永远都是中国的一部分，不承认这个的的确都是混蛋，我对此也深信不疑。我不满的是官方的解释颇有欲盖弥彰之嫌。看看国内网站和报纸上一串串的标 题党新闻，你会觉得很吸引，可是看了之后仔细分析，你还是对当天的事情一无所知，你在缺乏证据的支撑下被直接引向了一个结论。即使报导中有所申辩，很多理 由都出奇的幼稚。相反我看Economist反而得到了关于Tibet的很多很有意义的历史信息。我常常在想作为一个中国人多么可悲，外国人比我们自己还 关心我们自己。其实你只要经常有办法突破封锁，多看看国外的甚至是香港的报纸杂志，你就会发现人家确确实实是特别关心中国的民主进程，关心中国普通老百姓 的基本权利。一直以来，我们都爱说西方媒体热衷和擅长妖魔化中国，这次也不例外。可是大家有没有好好想想，人家干嘛吃饱了撑着要跟你中国过不去啊？空穴来 风也好不是空穴来风也好，你一定是有东西让人家实在看不过去了，批评你是让你改进。西方人信基督，关心人类普世的真理和幸福，大部分主流媒体的批评即使不 百分百正确，但一定是严肃和负责的。剩下的那一小撮专门跟我们人民做对的，那才是偏离正轨者，但存在即有意义，就好像正与邪一直同时存在一样，没必要以偏 概全。好比一个人可能做到大部分人赞同，但必然还是会有那么一些人就是看你不顺眼。身正不怕影子歪，倘若实事求是，真心待人，还有什么必要苦口婆心地解释 自己呢？我看现在的情况是，不是他们妖魔化我们，而是我们妖魔化他们，觉得他们就是邪恶的。

我们从小就被灌输中华民族的传统美德，要谦虚，兼听则明，应取长补短。可是我们的政府真是这一传统美德的大大讽刺啊！那些官方新闻从来都是夸奖我们国家怎 么怎么繁荣富强了，社会怎么怎么飞速进步了，政府怎么怎么有所作为了。什么时候公开在新闻联播中报道贪官的公开审判，矿难的悲惨，冤狱的误人一生了？官方 从来都不敢正视我们这个国家和社会的黑暗面，缺陷和不足。从来都没有。你说人家美英法德诬蔑中国了，可是在他们国内，只要政府犯傻，照样有很多媒体毫不留 情的辛辣讽刺甚至堂而皇之的戏谑和鄙视。就冲这一点，人家即使报导不实也比我们连说实话的权利都没有要强得多。

所以，我们有必要在西方媒体报导zang du和部分抵制奥运的呼声中显得那么脆弱，动辄“严重伤害中国人民的感情”么？这颇有点林黛玉自怨自艾的风范了。归根结底，我们太落后了，从来不知道什么 叫言论自由，从来不知道外国政府早把这种“歪曲报道”当作一日三餐，爱理则理，不理则不理了。